How I got the name "One Arm".

During my first year as a Telecommunications (Video Production 
option - corporate emphasis) major at CSUFresno, I took Drama 
34 - Theatre Tech, if I remember correctly.  Half a semester of 
lecture and lab hours (forced labor) in the scene shop, and half in 
the costume shop (aka Anna's Sweat Shop).  All in all a fun 
class.  

The scene shop part was fun, because it was such a relaxed 
atmosphere.  I'd done enough theatre work in high school that 
this class was mostly additional practical experience (where 
IMHO you can learn a lot more than in lectures).

The costume shop was new territory to me though.  M.C. Drake 
could be a character on the show Designing Women.  Anna 
Levin, with her diminutive stature, and heavy Polish accent just 
plain a character.  Both of these women taught me a lot.  
Nowadays I do the sewing around the house.  Dawn doesn't 
even know how  thread the machine.  Poke around the paintball 
pages, and if you're lucky you just might see the "Bob's Biz Boys" 
flag.  My applique handiwork.  Yep, I took sewing in college and 
I'm proud of it, gender stereotypes be damned!

Well back to how I got my nickname.

The first day of class in the scene shop, I showed up wearing a 
loose shirt over a t-shirt.  The sleeves on this particular shirt are 
meant to be rolled up, so unrolled they hang down to halfway 
down my forearm, and have very wide cuffs.  While listening to 
the introductory safety talk from prof. Dan "The man" Carrion, I 
had my left arm in my back pocket.  I didn't realize it immediately, 
but the way my shirt was hanging, with all the bulky folds of 
fabric, my left arm wasn't visible.  So Dan, as he is apt to do, 
cracked a joke about it.  

"So, what, did we only bring one arm to class today?"

I as I am apt to do, replied sarcastically, with a completely 
straight expression (there was a certain feeling of "aptness" in 
that).

"I don't always wear the prosthesis, it's kind of heavy."

Mind you, I thought, he realized that I had two arms, and was just 
joking.

"Umm, that won't be any problem, on the ladders and with tools 
will it?"

"No, I did a lot of theatre work in high school.  I can balance very 
well."

And that's all that was said.  I thought we'd just been joking 
around.

The next day, I showed up for the first of my lab hours.  I saw 
Dan coming down the stairs from his office and waved.

"You [expletive deleted]!!  Do you know what you've put me 
through!?!?!" he shouted, nearly collapsing with laughter.

It seems that when he first asked about the missing arm, he was 
joking, thinking it was just my bulky shirt creating the illusion.  
However, when I answered, sounding completely serious, he 
was thrown.  He thought he had made a joke about someone 
with a true physical disability, and asked about the ladders and 
tools to try an make it look like the initial question was a safety 
concern (keep in mind, Dan is a very nice guy, and would NOT 
make a joke like that if he thought the person would be 
offended).  His mind was so wrapped up on what trouble he 
thought he had gotten himself into (potential letters of complaint, 
reprimands, student with hurt feelings, etc.) that he didn't even 
notice through the rest of class that I had two arms.  He spent the 
remainer of the day asking around the department for advice on 
how to help an amputee make full use of the theatre facilities, 
extra effort to atone for his faux pas.  

From that day forth, I have carried the name "One Arm".

Even today, you can ask the people who have been around the 
CSUF theatre tech areas a few years.  Mention Bill Mills, and 
they'll probably say "Who?"  But mention One Arm....